It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
