I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
