Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
