While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
