omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
