He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
