you guys were way drunker than both of me
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
