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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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