it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
