It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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