1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
