I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
