would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
