im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
