and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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