do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
