my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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