Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
