i barfeds in our rink
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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