awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
