you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
