We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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