All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
