Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
