I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
