Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
