I feel like abortions should bother me more
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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