Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
