I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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