I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
