Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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