i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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