went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
