You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
