OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
