how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
