Screwed.edu
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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