me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
