I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
