And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
