ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
