i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
