I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
