I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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