Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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