So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
