Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
