Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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