We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
