she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
