I'm gonna have a badass scar
he thought i was a dude.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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